Self-giving Love
Humanae Vitae's paradoxical wisdom
Second in a Series
By Bishop Thomas J. Olmsted
The Catholic Sun
Good news about Natural Family Planning (NFP) is popping up all
around the Diocese of Phoenix these days. In August, a new NFP-only
clinic will be opening in the East Valley of Maricopa County.
In October, St. Joseph's Hospital will establish a new department
of Natural Family Planning. A keynote address will celebrate its
beginning, delivered by Dr. Janet Smith, the Father McGivney Chair
of Life Ethics Professor at Sacred Heart Seminary in Detroit.
In concert with all these, courses on the Theology of the Body
are being taught in the Kino Institute and various parishes. A
graduate of the John Paul II Institute on Marriage and the Family,
Mr. Michael Phelan, has assumed, in this month of July, leadership
of our Diocesan Office of Marriage, Family and Life Issues. And
Pro Life institutions in our Diocese as well as the number of
NFP instructors are continuing to expand.
Who would have predicted all these wonderful things in 1968 when
Paul VI issued Humanae Vitae? A great help in bringing it about
has been the teaching of John Paul II entitled the Theology of
the Body.
Theology of the Body
Pope John Paul II's Theology of the Body is a fresh re-presenting
of the Church's teaching on the gift of human sexuality and the
mission of married couples. It lays out more clearly and persuasively
what Paul VI taught in Humanae Vitae, while rooting the presentation
in a richer biblical context.
Marriage, says John Paul II, is a visible image of the love of
the divine persons of the Blessed Trinity, the dynamic love between
the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. It is also a sign of
Christ's love for the Church, His spouse. It mirrors the love
of Christ on the Cross (I John 3:16), "The way we came to
understand love was that He laid down His life for us." Certainly,
every marriage here on earth is between two imperfect persons
who stand in constant need of God's mercy, but it is in their
marital embrace, in their fidelity and in the care of their children
that the reality of God's love is revealed.
Two meanings inseparably joined
Through the marriage bond, God creates a communion of persons
within which new life is brought forth as the fruit of conjugal
love. This is God's plan from the beginning. In other words, the
two primary meanings of the marital embrace are joined together:
the unitive meaning and the procreative meaning. The procreative
meaning is that which is fulfilled in the blessing of children
and the unitive meaning is that which comes from communion in
love.
These two meanings (or ends) of marriage (the life-giving and
the love-giving) are so bound together that the marriage itself
is gravely harmed, should they ever be divided. More importantly,
when both ends are embraced and lived to the full, abundant good
comes to the family and to the larger society. Abundant good is
always the fruit of obedience to God's plan for our lives.
Totally yours
On the other hand, married love is not true to itself unless it
remains open to new life. It must be both unitive and procreative,
not either/or but both/and. Why? Because authentic love gives
all. We hear this language of totality in the greatest of the
commandments when Jesus says: "You shall love the Lord your
God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your
mind." To love as Jesus loves is to give everything we are
and have, no matter the cost.
In Humanae Vitae, #9, Paul VI writes that conjugal love "is
total; that is, it is a very special form of personal friendship
whereby the spouses generously share everything with each other
without undue reservations and without concern for their selfish
convenience. One who truly loves his spouse not only loves her
for what he receives from her but also for her own sake. This
he does joyfully, as he enriches his beloved with the gift of
himself."
To love totally in marriage means not withholding the fertile
part of being a man or woman; that is, the wife gives all of her
femininity and the husband gives all of his masculinity. Should
one or both resort to contraception, they would be withdrawing
their fertility from the giving. They would not be giving their
all. Such action not only makes procreation impossible (preventing
cooperation with God in life-giving love) but also damages the
bonds of love (harming the love-giving end). It is no surprise
that many marriages are weak because of the use of contraception.
Every time that a married couple uses contraception they withhold
love from one another. The marital embrace then becomes solely
focused on pleasure and is not the self-giving, unifying, and
potentially fruitful act that God created it to be.
The Blessing of NFP
Does that mean that married couples must have as many children
as possible? Not at all. In fact, by God's design the marital
embrace cannot always be fertile. The woman's cycle goes through
times of both fertility and infertility. In light of this God-given
fact, spouses can plan their families by taking into account the
fertile or non-fertile times. We call this Natural Family Planning.
When Paul VI issued Humanae Vitae, teaching that contraception
is seriously sinful, he called for new research to provide couples
with improved methods of family planning that were natural, ethical,
and healthy. Since then, great advances have been made in understanding
natural fertility and developing scientifically validated methods
of fertility regulation (commonly known as NFP). Today, these
natural methods are as reliable as contraceptives. Simply put,
if a woman is not fertile, she cannot become pregnant. More importantly,
they are morally good and have no harmful side effects on the
woman's health. The use of contraceptives, of course, is always
morally evil and many of them have harmful side effects as well.
The personal benefits of NFP make it especially attractive. Natural
methods strengthen the harmony and mutual understanding of husband
and wife. They lead to a deeper awareness of the blessing of children.
They foster respect for nature and for the personal dignity of
all persons.
These natural methods are not well known, however. And prejudices
about them still abound. Incidentally, NFP is not what many refer
to as the rhythm method. There is solid science behind NFP. What
makes this not knowing particularly tragic is that ignorance of
these natural methods and a widespread contraceptive mentality
have led to acts that are directly contrary to marriage and to
life itself - acts such as abortion, sterilization, and test-tube
fertilization.
Nonetheless, as St. Paul writes, there is no chaining of the word
of God. The good news about NFP and the Theology of the Body,
and the prophetic wisdom of Humanae Vitae, shine forth more convincingly
each day. Can we not see the Holy Spirit at work in our midst,
lifting up the Gospel of Life?
continued in Pt.
3
Copyright 2005 The Catholic Sun.
